


Split Down the Middle and Sent Bleeding

by floatingaway4



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, M/M, but so in love, emotional messes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25186543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingaway4/pseuds/floatingaway4
Summary: Missing scene before Henry goes out with June. This starts as a continuation of their phone conversation agreeing to the setup.The title is a line from the book.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 141





	Split Down the Middle and Sent Bleeding

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite parts of the book (and there are SO many) is when the pictures of them at the Beekman are leaked and Henry has to go out with June. I love the tension of it, after they've had this amazing two day schmoopfest at the palace and then get shoved back into hiding. This is my take on what happened after the phone call between them in the book. I *think* it's canon-compliant...? I'm pretty sure this doesn't conflict with anything in the actual story. If it does, well, I tried!

“I know you have to go talk to Philip and Shaan. I have to go talk to Zahra too. But call me back later.” 

“All right.” 

“I just--call me back. Please.”

“I will,” Henry says tiredly, and ends the call. 

“Fuck!” Alex throws his phone at the wall. Miraculously, it bounces onto the mattress without shattering. 

He trudges down the hall to find Zahra and let her know Henry is on board. On board with the lying and the denial and the fake dating. She nods and starts texting someone. Alex can’t even be bothered to wonder who. He ends up back in his room without remembering how he got there, like he’s in a trance. He lays on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to decide if he’s hungry or nauseous. Probably a little of both. 

Merely minutes later, June texts him one word. “Posted.” 

Almost two hours later, his phone finally vibrates. He answers so fast he almost drops it. “Baby.” 

Alex hears Henry take a deep breath. “I’ll be in town tomorrow night. They’re putting me in a hotel with a babysitter. Can’t be trusted on my own.” 

“Sweetheart, I hate this. I feel like I’m going to throw up.” 

There’s no response. 

“Henry, please say-”

“What do you want me to say, Alex? It’s what has to be done, isn’t it?”

Alex can’t let Henry hide behind royal expectations anymore. They were supposed to be past all that now. 

“I need to look at you.” 

Henry’s voice is thick and raspy. “Alex, please, don’t. I--”

Alex’s throat is burning. “Baby, I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re crying. _I’m_ crying. I just, I need to see you.” He doesn’t even try to keep the edge of desperation out of his voice. “Please,” and his voice trembles and breaks like water tumbling over jagged rocks. “I miss your face.”

The call ends but vibrates again almost immediately with a video call. “Thank god,” Alex mutters as he picks up. 

Henry’s face is pale, his eyes red. Alex lays down on his pillow and holds the phone next to him. “I wish I was there. Or you were here. Anything but this.” 

Henry nods, opens and closes his mouth but says nothing. He looks away from the screen. 

Alex reaches toward his phone, then lets his hand fall on the bed. “I wish I could touch you,” he whispers. 

“I got a note from Gran, on her official bloody stationary.” Henry drags a hand over his face. “She’s pleased I have come to my senses and found an acceptable girlfriend,” he snorts. 

Alex exhales in an effort to steady his voice. “I know we can’t right now, but I want to tell everybody how much I love you. I want to walk down the street holding your fucking hand and not have people lose their goddamn minds.” 

Henry smiles a little. “I want that too.”

Alex grips his phone tighter. “We will one day. We’ll tell everyone. I promise.” 

Henry nods. His next words are slow and careful. “I know how much you want that to be true, but-”

“It will be true,” Alex says fiercely. 

“Alex, I will always love you-”

“Don’t!” He sits up and cuts Henry off sharply. “Don’t you start acting like this is over.” _Not again_ , he can’t even say out loud. 

Henry looks away from the screen again. 

“You said you were sure,” Alex says, feeling like he’s accusing and begging all at once. His fingers trail up to trace the ring under his t-shirt. 

And with that, Henry looks straight into the camera and heaves out a long, shaky breath. “I am, love.” His eyes fall closed for a moment. “I’m just...you’re right, we’ll get through this.” And he actually smiles again. “At least it’s June and not some random stranger my family paid off.” 

Alex smiles back at him. “You realize that’s not exactly a selling point for me,” he says, swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “But yeah, it’s better for you.” Henry has told him about the various actresses and socialites he’s been set up with, who flirted and touched and how he tried to be gracious because he felt guilty about lying to them but “there are limits, Alex.” At least they can both trust June not to paw at him, not to think she just might have a chance with a royal. 

Alex looks at Henry again, wishing he could run a hand through his hair. “As soon as things calm down again, I need to touch you for about--” he pretends to think, “24 hours should do it.” 

“Well, for starters,” Henry agrees. 

Alex falls back onto his side, propping his phone against the wall. The entire shitty day crashes over him like a wave and he is suddenly, thoroughly exhausted. “Love you,” he exhales. 

Henry has burrowed into his pillow too, his eyes drifting closed. “Get some sleep, darling. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Alex has a vague thought that it is tomorrow already, because it must be close to dawn there, but he’s too tired for time zone math. 

“We’re good?” Alex asks, unable to suppress a yawn. 

“Of course we are,” Henry whispers. His voice is caring and fond and wraps around Alex like a soft blanket. “I mean, I’m not, and you’re not, but _we_ are. And I love you, too.” 

Alex thinks he might be able to process that sentence in the morning. “Night,” he mutters. Henry only manages a word-like grunt in return. 

Alex swipes the hang up button but his hand continues to cover the screen of his phone. The case is still a little warm from where Alex was holding it, but it’s nowhere near as warm and alive and strong and fierce as Henry’s skin. Even so, Alex’s thumb brushes over the unyielding surface, the way it always gravitates, unbidden, toward Henry’s soft pulse point when they fall asleep tangled in each other. 

It’s the closest he can get right now.


End file.
